It's a Cold and Broken Hallelujah
by XdoyouhearthepeoplesingX
Summary: Kurt's been feeling really depressed lately. But when he resorts to harmful measures to deal with the pain, will he take it too far? Or will Blaine be able put him back together? I suck at summaries. No character death POSSIBLE triggers rated T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: sadly, i do not own Glee :( ryan, ian, and brad do...if i did, here would be more kurt and blaine scenes :)**

**A/N: this is myfirst fic so be nice please! i'll try and update as quick as possible. i have the second chapter already written, i just gotta type it an upload it :)**

Kurt's arms wrapped tighter against his legs as fresh tears made their way down his face. He hated feeling like this everyday. It was always the same. Get up. Go to school. Get harassed by Karofsky. Go to Glee Club where Rachel gets ALL the solos. Go home. But when he met Blaine, he started feeling happier. Then he asked Kurt to be his boyfriend and KISSED him! He was over the moon when that happened. He was happy, keyword WAS. Oh yeah, he and Blaine were still going strong, but Karofsky's harassment had gotten worse. He started pushing him against lockers more, spewing profanities at him. So here he was, miserably wallowing in his basement room because his bully's words and threats and gotten considerably worse. They've made Kurt feel like utter shit. And to top it all off, Blaine hasn't been able to be with him or text him because of midterms at Dalton. Kurt laid his head on his pillow and pulled the covers over his head. After a while, he started to drift into sleep when _Teenage Dream_ started to fill his ears and he sat up quickly and grabbed his phone realizing it was a text.

_Midterms are over! Wanna go get coffee? -B_

Kurt responded instantly, _Definitely. I'm in need of my caffeine fix. -K_

_Great! Lima Bean? -B_

_Of course :) -K_

_Okie doke! See ya in a few. Love you 3 -B_

His heart fluttered when he read Blaine's text, _Love you too -K_

He sat on the edge of his bed and looked over to his vanity mirror ad grimaced at his flushed, tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes. He had some time, he could make himself look _decent_.

**-BREAK-**

When Kurt got to the Lima Bean, he checked himself in his rearview mirror and got out. He tugged the sleeves of his jacket down further to cover his wrists and headed into the coffee shop. As he did, he saw Blaine walking to their usual table with two coffee cups in his hands and two stirrers and napkins in his mouth because his hands were full. Kurt laughed a little at how silly his boyfriend looked. At that moment, Blaine decided to turn around and he saw Kurt, smiled dorkily, and waved to him. Kurt immediately ran over and Blaine pulled him into a tight hug.

"God Blaine, you don't know how much I've missed you this week," Kurt mumbled into Blaine's neck.

"I missed you too, baby. Those midterms killed me," Blaine responded when they let go and sat down, "Sooo, how was your week Kurt?"

Kurt took the lid of his coffee off and stirred it a bit before replying, "Alright I guess. Just the same old, same old."

Blaine wasn't convinced, "Kurt I can TELL when something is up with you. Now, what happened?" Blaine asked him, concerned.

Kurt looked at the drink in his hands before looking into Blaine's worried eyes, "It's just... Karofsky's just gotten worse a-and I-I just...It's just getting to me I guess," tears filled his eyes and were threatening to spill. As he reached across the table for a napkin, his sleeve rode up just enough for Blaine to see the small cuts on Kurt's wrist. He gasped quietly and Kurt noticed and pulled his arm back as if he'd been burned. "Blaine, I-I..." he tried to stutter out an explanation but tears started streaming down his cheeks and he looked down at his lap to hide his embarrassed tears. Blaine got up and walked to Kurt's side and helped him up. He threw their empty cups in the trash then put his arm around Kurt's shoulders which were shaking slightly. When they reached Blaine's car and got in, he took Kurt's hands in his own.

"Kurt...why-" he was cut off by his boyfriend starting to cry.

"I-I'm s-sorry Blaine! I just-just can't TAKE it anymore. I feel so depressed all the time a-and I j-just..." he just stopped talking all together and started sobbing. Blaine pulled his boyfriend to him and let him cry into his shoulder. He didn't care if it ruined his jacket, all he cared about right now was Kurt. He let his boyfriend cry himself out, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. After about five minutes, Kurt pulled away and wiped his face but tears still made their way down his cheeks.

"S-sorry...I don't know w-where that came from," he croaked.

Blaine put his hand on Kurt's cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb. Kurt leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. "Hey," Blaine whispered softly. Kurt opened his bloodshot eyes, "you have nothing to be sorry for, Kurt."

"But-" Kurt interrupted.

"NOTHING." Blaine stated. He leaned over and kissed Kurt's forehead. "C'mon, I'll take you home. I don't think you're in any condition to drive right now." Blaine told him.

"B-But what about my car?" Kurt asked.

"Don't worry, give me your keys." Kurt handed his boyfriend his keys and he took off the car key then handed the rest back. Blaine offered Kurt a smile then hopped out. Kurt watched him with confusion. Blaine walked over to Kurt's car and unlocked the door. He set the key under the backseat, unlocked the backdoor, the closed it. He walked back to his car, got in, pulled his phone out, and started texting someone. Kurt stared at his boyfriend with confusion, yet again.

"Uh….Blaine?"

"Oh! Sorry, don't worry about your car. Wes is going to come pick its up. We do this all the time. David will drive him up here, Wes will take your car home while David follows him, then they go back to Dalton. Simple." Blaine explained.

"Oh…" Kurt whispered, putting his seatbelt on. Blaine did the same and started driving to Kurt's house. Kurt had curled up in the seat and laid his head on the window, staring off into nothing in particular. When the pulled up into his driveway, Kurt was asleep. Blaine smiled at how peaceful he looked compared to a half hour ago. He got out and opened Kurt's door carefully, making sure he didn't fall out.

"Hey, Kurt," he nudged his boyfriend, "baby, wake up. We're at your house." Kurt's eyes opened finally and he looked at Blaine. "Hey sleepyhead," Blaine greeted.

"Hi," Kurt said, his voice sounding small.

"We're at your house, here give me your keys."

Kurt handed Blaine his keys and he disappeared for a second then came back. He unbuckled his tired boyfriend from his seat and lifted him into his arms bridal style. Kurt didn't protest so Blaine could tell he wasn't feeling like himself at the moment. He buried his face in Blaine's shoulder and gripped his jacket in his fists. Blaine carried him though the front door and down to his room. He set Kurt down on his bed and went to close the door. When he turned back, Kurt had buried his face in his pillow and he could see his shoulders shaking again. He knelt by Kurt's bedside and rubbed his hand up and down Kurt's thigh gently. He could feel Kurt relax a little at his touch. "Kurt, please talk to me. Don't shut me out," Blaine pleaded.

Kurt lifted his head from his pillow and looked at Blaine. "Okay, I'll talk and stuff b-but can I change first?" he asked quietly.

"Of course, I'll wait right here, baby." Blaine responded with a sad smile.

Kurt went over to his dresser and pulled out some pajamas and went into his bathroom. Blaine kicked off his shoes and slipped his jacket off and sat on Kurt's bed, waiting for him.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Kurt slipped his shirt off and looked at himself in the mirror. There were cuts on his abdomen and parts of his stomach. And there were the ones on his wrists that he wasn't ale to hide from Blaine. He was disappointed in himself for not hiding them better. He was tempted to pull his razor out of the drawer and just slide it across his arm, just a few times, but he stopped himself. He stopped because his boyfriend was out there and he loved him. He quickly changed without looking in the mirror again to see his legs and went back into his room.

When he walked back out, Blaine was surprised at what he saw. Kurt was in a pair of baggy sweatpants, Blaine's Dalton hoodie he'd left at Kurt's house before midterms, and his hair was a mess. Blaine lifted the covers back a little and Kurt got into his bed. He pulled his boyfriend to his side and Kurt buried his face in Blaine's chest. "Kurt, if you really don't want to talk…it's okay/ Just tell me when you're ready," Blaine whispered and kissed the top of Kurt's head.

He moved his head from Blaine's chest, "N-No, I want to get this off my chest. I want to tell you.," Kurt whispered. Blaine nodded fro him to go on and started rubbing the back of his boyfriend's neck. "O-Okay, you know Karofsky's been bullying me and everything. I-It's been sort of getting worse. He's shoving me into lockers harder and more often, still calling me names, and slushying me. B-But lately I've been getting l-letters in my locker. Hurtful ones telling me I'm a f-fag and that I-I'm worthless and nobody will ever love me…I k-know they're from h-him and some from the rest of the football team, but mostly him. A-And I've just-just HAD it. I couldn't handle the pain s-so I started c-cutting. It was the only release from e-everything…" After he finished talking, tears were streaming down his cheeks and Blaine reached his hand up to wipe them from his face.

"Oh god, Kurt. Why didn't you tell me it was that bad?" Blaine whispered.

"I j-just didn't want to bother you…" Kurt whispered brokenly.

"Kurt, you wouldn't have bothered me!" he said softly, "I love you and I want to help you. Oh and you're NOT worthless, Kurt. You mean SO much to so many people! Your dad, Carole, your friends, ME. You are my life, Kurt. I love you so so much, baby."

Kurt stared at him with glassy eyes, "I- thank you, Blaine. I-I love you too," he said.

Blaine just pulled Kurt to his chest and ran his fingers through his silky hair until he fell asleep. After awhile, Blaine soon let himself fall asleep next to his boyfriend.

**I hope it wasn't too bad. BUT, i hope ****you all liked the first chapter :) R&R please, I'll probably post ch. 2 tomorrow or if I'm lucky, later tonight.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay people, here's chapter 2! **

**A/N: wow, alot of people read chapter one :D i didn't think this would get any views...hope you like this chapter! **

When Kurt woke up the next morning at 10:00, he was alone. He reached his arm to the side of his bed looking for Blaine, instead he found a note. He sat up at read it.

_hey,_

_Sorry you woke up alone. I had to get back before curfew. And before your dad got home :P Call me or text me when you wake up. _

_Love you lots,_

_Blaine_

Kurt smiled when he read the note. After re-reading it a few times, he got up and went upstairs. Upon coming into the kitchen, he was greeted with yet another note. This one, from his dad.

_Hey buddy,_

_Went out for breakfast with Finn and Carole._

_Be back later._

_-Dad_

"Didn't think of including me, did you?" he whispered. He crumpled up the note and left the kitchen deciding he lost his appetite. He went back to his room, pulled out his phone, and curled up under his blankets. Kurt didn't trust his voice so he decided to text Blaine rather than calling him.

_Hey I'm awake.-K_

_Hi! How are you feeling? :) -B_

_To be honest…worse than yesterday.-K_

_What? Why? What's wrong, baby?-B_

_Can you just come over? I really need you right now.-K_

_Of course! Be there in a few. Is there still a key under your mat?-B_

_Yes.-K_

_Okay, I'll be there soon. I love you. So much 3-B_

_Love you too.-K_

Kurt put his phone away and let the tears that he'd been holding in all morning, fall freely down his face.

As soon as Blaine pocketed his phone, he was put the door, keys in hand. When he reached Kurt's house, he ran up to the front door and took out the key from under the mat and unlocked the door. He ran straight down to Kurt's room and to his bedside.

"Hey Kurt," he said softly.

Kurt pulled off his head and Blaine saw the tear-stained cheeks and red face. "Blaine…" Kurt said before flinging his arms around his boyfriend and started sobbing into his shoulder.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, Kurt. I'm here. I've got you," Blaine cooed to his distraught boyfriend. After a few minutes, Kurt had cried himself out and they were both curled up on his bed, his head on Blaine's chest and their legs tangled together.

"Kurt?" Blaine whispered.

"Hmm?" Kurt responded without lifting his head off of his boyfriend's chest.

"What happened?"

Kurt was silent and his fingers tightened on Blaine's Dalton sweater. "My dad forgot about me," he said quietly.

"What do you mean, baby?" Blaine asked.

"He took Finn and Carole out to breakfast and didn't include me. I guess he can have breakfast with the family he _wants _when I'm not around." Kurt said, his eyes glassy.

"Oh Kurt," Blaine cooed and pulled his boyfriend to him, "your dad loves you-"

"No he doesn't if he wasn't willing to wake me up for breakfast with the rest of the family!" Kurt cried, sitting up.

"Hey, listen to me. Your dad LOVES you, Kurt. I promise," Blaine stated firmly.

"But this has been going on _all _week, Blaine! A few days ago, he said we'd work on an old car together. But when he had said we'd do it, he blew me off for a football game on TV with _Finn._" Kurt cried.

Blaine stared at him in disbelief and pulled him to his chest once more. "How about, we go out and do something, yeah?"

"Okay. But what?" Kurt asked, his voice sounding small again.

"Hmmm, how about…we go out to lunch then we can go get some ice cream. And after we can go walk in the park or go see a movie. What do you say?" Blaine offered.

Kurt smiled and sat up, "I like the movie idea. Oh! I have the perfect outfit for this!"

"Movie and lunch it is," Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek.

Kurt got up and ran to his closet to get dressed and Blaine just smiled after him. He was glad Kurt was happy, even only if it's for a little while.

**-BREAK-**

When the boys arrived back to Kurt's house, they were tired and happy. But Kurt noticed his dad was home and didn't want Blaine to leave.

"Babe, you're going to have to face your dad at some point. And I have to go. Don't worry, if something happens and you need to talk, just call me. Okay?" Blaine said while running his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"Okay, I love you Blaine," Kurt said softly.

"I love you too. So much. I'll call or text you tomorrow," he said before kissing his boyfriend goodbye. Kurt tried to deepen the kiss threading his fingers into Blaine curly locks. After a few moments, they broke apart for air and Blaine laid his forehead on Kurt's. "You're adorable, Kurt. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Blaine said as Kurt pecked him on the lips and got out of the car.

"Bye Blaine," he said.

Blaine watched his boyfriend walk up to his front door, turn around and blow him a kiss before walking into his house. He smiled the drove off, back to Dalton.

When Kurt got in, he was greeted by his dad and Finn watching a football game on TV. His heart sunk and his mood darkened a bit.

"Kurt! I made dinner, are you hungry?" Carole while giving him a hug.

"N-No, I'm fine. I had a late lunch with Blaine. I'm just going to go downstairs and go to bed," he replied.

"Okay sweetie, goodnight!" Carole said sweetly.

"'Night…" Kurt whispered, "Goodnight dad."

"'Night son," Burt said without turning away from the television and yelled something about the ref being unfair. Carole noticed the way Kurt's shoulder's slumped and his eyes glossed over with unshed tears. When he was in his room, Carole went into the living room and stood in front of the TV.

"Hey! Mom, move!" Finn yelled.

"Finnegan, have you finished your homework, hm?" she asked.

"No…But-" he said but was cut off by his mother.

"Then go and finish it."

He sighed and went up to his room, grumbling.

"Carole, what's wrong?" Burt asked his wife, "we were just watching the game. You had no problem with it earlier."

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that you've been spending more time with Finn that you have your own son, Burt! I mean, I love how you and Finn have bonded and all but Kurt is still _your _son," She replied.

"I know that. But what brought this on?"

"How's the car coming along?" Carole asked getting a little irritated.

"Uh, what car exactly?" Burt asked, confused.

"That old car you were _supposed _to work on with Kurt. The car that is still at the garage, untouched, and still under the tarp?" Carole quipped.

"Oh my god…" Burt whispered, "he was really excited about that." He ran his hand over his face and got up. "I'll go talk to him."

"You better," Carole huffed and walked into the kitchen.

He walked down into the basement, into Kurt's room, and knocked on the doorframe, "Kurt?"

Kurt turned from his vanity, his hair pushed up by a blue sweatband. "What-Oh. Hi dad," he said, turning back to his mirror and back to his moisturizing.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" Burt asked his son.

Kurt was finished so he turned back to his dad, "Don't you have a football game to watch with Finn?" he spat.

"I guess I deserve that. Son, I'm _really _sorry that I forgot about working on the car with you," he said sincerely. Kurt gaped at him, "You think that's all this is about? Well, you're sadly mistaken," he huffed and walked over to his closet to pick out his outfit for tomorrow, trying to hold his tears back.

"Buddy, you've gotta tell me what's wrong-" he was cut off by his son turning around to look at him with tears streaming down his face.

"You forgot about me! All week it was all Finn and everyone else. I'm your _son _dad! I've needed you but you FORGOT about me! I needed my dad…" he just stopped talking because he was crying so hard and slid down the wall to the floor.

Burt stared at his son, feeling horrible. Here was Kurt, his little boy, crying for his dad and all he could do was stand there, horrified at himself. "Oh Kurt, why didn't you come talk to me?"

"'Cause you were too busy with Finn and going out to breakfast with him and Carole without me. With the family you've always wanted…" Kurt was cut off by his dad pulling him into his arms and letting him cry into his shoulder. "I needed you daddy," Kurt sobbed. Kurt never called Burt "daddy" unless he was scared or sad. Burt just squeezed his son tighter and let him cry.

**-BREAK-**

Kurt had cried himself to sleep in his dad's arms. Burt got up and carried his son to his bed and tried to set him down but Kurt grabbed Burt's shirt and opened his eyes a little, "Daddy, don't go…" he said sleepily.

"Kurt, it's 12:30. You've got school in the morning," he said softly.

"Oh, mmkay. 'Night dad," Kurt slurred, still half asleep.

"Goodnight Kurt. I love you," he whispered and kissed his son's forehead.

"Love you too dad," Kurt replied before falling asleep.

**I hope you liked chapter 2 :) i still gotta write chapter 3 annnd i've got a little bit of writer's block...so i don't know when it'l be posted. reviews will make me a happy camper! **


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